one meal at a time and sister worries
Well, got about 1/2 an hour before school and my youngest is still asleep so thought I would pop in here and post a bit before she gets up and starts rolling because then there is no time. I did mess up during the weekend. It wasn’t as bad as it couldve been but Ive been worse so at least that is better. I keep messing up but I also keep trying and I think that is worth something at least because there are times where I feel I just want to quit but my weight bothers me so bad I can’t give up so trying again today. Stomach a little quesy today so maybe something I ate yesterday got to me so hopefully it will make it easier to keep on plan today.
Things are going better for Dh and I. It really is amazing what hormones do to your body. They reak havok on mine. I really go on a rollar coaster with mine but the trouble is my roller coaster doesn’t do the up, only the steep down! But now I am remembering my vitamens, it has been a whole lot better. Still fighting the infection. I think I may need to hit the doctor again. Not itching now but having sex hurts so worried about that. Someone suggested that perhaps my husband is giving it to me. I wish it was that simple but it is not. When I was in America for about a month, I got one while I was there and I was not with him then. Something in my body is not right but don’t know what. I was in the US for too short of a time for the doctor to pinpoint anything down. Over here, they are useless for that so just have to battle it out. Perhaps it could be becuase of the intro to too many sweets this year doing it, maybe? But I have been battling it out even when Iw as losing weight and had no sweets so who knows!
Was at the doctors last night, my youngest has chicken pox, wonderful! HOw in the world does that virus stay alive? I am just thankful that the older two have already had their share of it but they had a light case so I will have to watch them pretty carefully.
Work is going well. I am really enjoying it a lot better (except for one class) and that has made my life easier.
One worrying point for me is this Sunday. My sister is coming to visit me. This will be the first time in over ten years that anyone from my family has ever come to visit me in China. So, I should be happy, right? Well, I am more nervous and worried about it. You see, my sister and I are 13 years apart so pretty much we are strangers in every way. By the time she was toddling around, Iw as already out of the house so we have never really gotten close. I have always lived too far away or really, we just did not click to be honest. So, I am worried about that. Plus, having her here is like have an extension of my mother here. Whatever happens, she will be telling my mother and my mother will beleive everyting so I worry about that. I want to show her a good time but have no idea what she likes. I have begged her sevearl times to tell me where and what but she just keeps putting it off. I am worried that she will want to visit Beijing and all that on my buck. It costs a lot for plane tickets and all that so I worry about that plus with her putting it off on planning, getting a ticket by the time she gets here will cost big because we will be on national holiday and let me tell you, China has a LOT of people. Also, I only have four days off to spend with her so how to take care of her when I am working? I can’t ask off from work because 1. new job 2. strict system. I can’t leave her on her own because of the language factor I know it will all work out someway but I worry anyway. Plus, where to put her to sleep. She hates kids but I only have two rooms for her, one with the two older kids or a small one with the younger one. No getting out of it. Hmmm, if it was my big brother I would not worry because I know him pretty good but with her, I do worry. I also worry about food. If she doens’t like chinese food, she will be pretty much up the creek without a paddle. Hopefully she has changed and grown up since the last I saw her. We have never really liked each other that much honestly and yes I know that for a fact because she told my mother about it while my mother was talkign about me and how bad I was (yes, I was bad and read the email) BUt, just have to keep to my family rules. Keep mouth shut, say nothing bad about any family and try to be a gracious host even if I have to use my money from my savings Yikes, any ideas guys?
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Rachel,
Here’s my very tough love answer. You know I love you and am not saying this to be mean in ANY way, to you or your family… this is practically the EXACT advice I have recently given my mom and one of my best friends….
She only has 2 choices… make the best of it or die mad… either way, it in NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to keep her happy in ANY way, shape, or form. As far as going somewhere on YOUR dime… if she wanted that SHE SHOULD HAVE already discussed that and made advanced arrangements with you. DO NOT DIP INTO YOUR SAVINGS TO INDULGE HER. I’m assuming she’s a grown woman? She KNOWS how the world works, ie airfares w/o 14 day advance are OUTRAGEOUS… they serve “Chinese” food in China, etc. Yes, I’m bilingual (Spanish), but not where they speak FRENCH… AND I SURVIVED fine for a week out of my element in a non-english/spanish world… SHE WILL TOO. Just keep telling yourself that this is a GROWN WOMAN, you are not her mom, her keeper, her guard, anything. I respect that you 2 are blood, I do have 5 siblings of my own…
If it helps, imagine that she’s not your sister, just a visitor who asked for free room and board… If I came to China knowing that they speak Chinese, eat Chinese food and that you have 3 kids…. and had a prob. with any, I’D HOPE that you’d have the self-respect to send me packing to a motel rather than indulge my every whim. SERIOUSLY, she’s already saving enough money be eating and sleeping there, she doesn’t need her vacation padded on your dime beyond what you’d reasonably extend to any other house guest.
I know this sounds pretty bitchy and mean, but I hate to see you even pondering whether or not to let someone take advantage of your good nature just because they happen to be related and on their way to visit.
And speaking of audacity… my sister all but asked me (lots of hints, etc, but never said the words outright) to GIVE her my house… yeah, as in GIFT/FREE… how can siblings be SOOOOO different???
I agree with Tina 100%…she is using you. Be the strong, self-respecting woman I know you can be. So what if she ‘tells mommy’?
I agree with tina! Absolutely! your sister has never been nor ever will be your responsibility! You are a grown woman..its your house..your family…She will have to be a gracious guest or dont come at all.