From Cocoon to butterfly

Wow, can’t beleive I haven’t been on here for about a month. My vacation went really well, better then I expected really. So many things but don’t know where to start. When I first started out, I was about ready to turn around and go back, missing my kids so so bad. I continued to miss them but it got better as time went but was ever so happy to get back to them though. I had great fun with shopping, more then great fun, tremendous. Usually I always have the kids with me so I never get a chance to do some real heavy shopping nor hit a bookstore. Well, this time I ccould do so much and I sure did. My husabnd told me to spend all the money and I have to listen to him, right? LOL. I went to some clothing stores and wow, the feeling to be able to walk into “normal” stores and be able to wear anything there! I just was in heaven, really!       I went into the mall with my aunt and we stopped in every store and I could try on things , which I did, and just have a great time fitting into clothes. What was even more baffling, there were times I could not wear a certain style and it was because it was too big, what a feeling. But on the last day before I left, I went with my mother shopping for some spring clothes and she was handing me some size eights ( I want to get to a 6 or lower) and it struck me what that funny feeling I had when I was trying them on. I kept feeling that anytime now, the store clerks were going to look at me funny and ask why I had a size 8 or 10 on the hanger and I should go back and get a bigger size because ythey would never fit me. That is how I felt really! That any minute, they would bust through the door and tell me they did not carry m y size and would I please leave. It was such a strange feeling and I had it the entire time I was on my trip. Guess it will take time to get use to things I suppose. I did buy some smaller sizes for myself because I want to get down smaller and still have a ways to go. I can’t wait to get into some of my clothes! I bought a beautiful white coat but since gaining a bit of weight on the trip, have to get that off and then I can wear that and feel good.  I also hit lots of other stores while I was there. I shipped home five boxes if that tells you anything, oh , it was just so much fun! I bought lots of spices to use in cooking so I could make things taste good but still be good for me. I also bought lots of books, oh, I just LOOOOOVE my books and Igot a lot of them for me and for my kids.  I also bought a lot of teas,. Yes, I live in China and I still buy tea in the US, haha. The reason is over here they are pure leaves and most are pretty bitter. I can drink them and I am alright wwitht hem but when I am facing a serious craving, well, bitter just doesn’t do it. So , I bought a lot of flavored teas that are good for me and my weight loss.

About my weight, well, while on vacation, when I was good, I was very good but when I was bad, I was bad. But most of the time, I’ll admit, I did pretty good on my choices. Yes, I did make some really bad choices like the lasagne at Olive Gardens (oh man, heavenly!) but most of the time I did grilled things and salads. I did eat chicken and dumplings but ate very little of it and left a lot of my plate. I stopped when I was ready to stop. Of course, when I ate at my brother’s house, well, I enjoyed myself. But I did not go hog wild and that is a good thing. Now , I am back home and getting back into my routine and ready to get this weight off. My skirts are all getting tight and a few I can’t wear because my thighs have exploded but going to get it off again and get down to goal, that is in my sights again. Since December, when all that junk was happening, well , I ‘ve gained 27 pounds, sheesh, in just about two months. Too easy really and I feel my self confidence is slipping witht he gain and I see myself being down again because of it. I don’t want to fall into that again and I want to feel good about myself so back to it! I am ready to feel good about myself. I want to be abel to wear the clothes I bought, I want to be able to buy more clothes over here when spring and summer hits. So, I am making my mind up, no more slipping and falling. Time to get the nose to the grindstone!

I am also ready to up my exercise. Remember before I left I said I would be buying exercise DVDs, well, I did. I bought a series with pilates, dancing and walking and even Julian boot camp which will be rough so I will do that on later. But I am pleased with my choices and will get started on that tonight. I haven’t this week yet because of getting over my jet lag but I am feeling more myself again so getting ready. I will also have to start going to my exercise class again once I have everything settled.

O’yeah, you know, I HAD to go to Victoria Secret’s! To walk in and they don’t look at me funny, wow! Yes, I did buy an outfit there and I think it is really cute. But at the moment, I need to lose before getting it on. Think of a mushroom. Now, turn it upside down with the stem up and cap down. That is the way I look! Stupid thighs. First thing to blow up when I gain. But I have it hanging on my bedroom door so I have something to look forward to. But it is sgreat to be back and I am feeling that great feeling coming again. It has been a few months that I haven’t felt anything but dread toward the scale so this is a great feeling that says, I am ready to start hitting that scale again!