From Cocoon to butterfly

Yep, from eating all those lovely carbs, I can see inches being added to my body. nuts, why do I do this to myself! I am letting stress, hormones and all that mess get to me. I can get control. I think it will be mucjh easier once I get to my parents house because then I don’t have control over what gets bought and such. Or should I say, there will be no excuses for me left because I will not be buying snacks for the kids. My parents are both on plan so there is nothing to eat in the house that I should not eat. Plus, added incitive to keep on plan by being in a house full of others on plan. Don’t know for sure what to do for exercise but I will figure something out. Usually I can’t sleep so well and I get up early because of the time difference with US and CHina so I am thinking of using that time by getting on a bike and riding for a few hours because mom always sleeps late.  I have to get into a structrue and right now I don’t feel that I am in a structure and I am gooing into a tailspin because of it and I hate that. Plus, letting my mother get to me or eat at me as Nancy says about her mother.  I know I will really have to watch myself to let the stress of getting alone with my mother get to me. I know I can do this. I know I can get to goal but this is going to be a speed bump I will have to get over.
Once I get back to China, then my real structure can get going. I plan on buying some exercise dvd’s and will incorporate them into my routine. I get back on the 8th and school will start on the 10th so there is not much chance for me to go free with that nor do I want to go free. I want to start doing my ballet toning regularly and also doing treadmill every day plus squats. I have to write down and really give myself a structure. I am also buying a lot of spices and such while in the US so I have no excuse but to be ready to get on plan and get that exercise on the roll. Being in the US, I can not really et a structure down pat nor can I control what I eat that much when I am visiting around and such but I am going to try and do my best.

I do feel a bit better and not so funky. I called my brother last night to get his imput about my mother and he could not beleive some of the things she said and he siad not to worry about it and he would take care of me. He use to be my mother’s fav. till he got married and that really shook the apple tree then! heheh. But he says not to worry about getting to the airport, he would take me or get his wife so it will all work out. I don’t know why I let her get under my skin that way because she treats everybody this way. NOne of the family likes her, that includes her own father so why should I think it would be any different with me.

Well, I will try and do one more post tomorrow and then get packed and ready. Hard to beleive I am going home soon.