From Cocoon to butterfly

Christmas eve here guys and it doesn’t even feel like it. Sheesh, I sure miss being in the US at thist ime. I am not hte only one. I met my friend today for coffee and he feels the same way, hates December and has a hard time not being blue about it. But one good thing about it is I do get a day off from work so I told DH to not even think about me getting up in the morning to turn on the heater for him. He would have to get his butt out in the cold house and turn it on, that is my christmas present LOL.

Weight wise, I am getting the weight downa nd very happily doing it. Stille arning my stickers, I have 7 total right now. Day one was a little hard but as teh days add up, it is getting easier. I have found my  mojo! It came back when PMS flew out the door. Feel so great. I feel like I can leap single servings of cake in a single bound, beat up any snacks that come to my door and so on. SUper Rachel heheh. Seriously though, I feel really great now. My clothes are fitting better and getting loose again, I feel in control and I started getting the exercise thing going. I do cardio every day for at least thirty minutes. I am gradually increasing as I can find time. I also started back to my ballet/exercise classes so I am enjoying that although I hate going out in the cold but it sure is worth it! So, my body is thanking me for getting back on track. I am looking at regaining my old avi by at least the end of Dec. Then it is downward from there. I scared myself pretty bad there for a few weeks. I really felt that I was in the pit and I was going to gain it all back. I felt so terrible and just did not know how to stop it but I am so thankful to have you buddies here to help me and talk with me. It kept me hanging on even when I just wanted to quit everything. I lost my LL crown but now, it is giving me serious mojo to earn that sucker back LOL  But I do feel so much better. Imagine, seeing 135 on the scale and then a few weeks later, see 155, yikes! That is scary. I have to be honest with myself. I am a foodaholic. I can’t handle food on a normal level like other people. And that does scare me somewhat. But I will work through this. One good thing this has taught me is that if I keep my eye on my scale and when I see it go up, all I have to do it get back on plan and it will fall off. That is good news.

I found this poem on line and thought you guys might enjoy it.  I reminded me of what I did to fall into that slippery slope of bad eating and what to do about it.

 THERE’S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost …. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street