From Cocoon to butterfly

Thank you to all you lovily buddies that helped me and commented on my blog. I did not feel so alone. These last two months were really rough with trying to deal with the absence of TOM and having PMS so badly. I am happy to say, did I just say that? , TOM is no longer MIA. That must be why my emotions evened out a few days ago. Never knew that TOM could make me so happy but it sure has! And now, I have no excuse of why I can get back on plan and STAY on plan. So, time to face the music and it was a hard facing to change. I got on the scale this morning and was up to 155! Yikes! So, back on the plan to get all that off and keep heading down. I have begun planning on things to do to keep going. One is going to be tor eward myself with stickers when I do a good job. I know, it sounds childlike but hey, I teach 1st and 2nd graders so I am childlike myself heheh. Anyway, I have a calender on my desk to keep up with everything aned what I am planning is that every day I am pop, I get a sticker on that day for that. Then, if I do my cardio for that day, a nother sticker. IF I do my toning, anther sticker. Then, I have an actual visual representation of what I have done. I thought it would be kinda cool and rewarding in itself. I would do money but since I am going on a trip to US soon, can’t do that but I may start that soon. Perhaps get my husband to reward me every time but that is future thinking. Gotta do now thinking.  Last week, I was able to do two cardio and one toning so I am getting better. Since finding that exercise room at the school , I have started using it and I don’t feel so shy anymore. I am planning on doing my walking with that and slowly getting my speed going. On MOnday and Wend. I have more time so I will do over 30 min. And then on T, Th, and Friday I will do 30 min. since I have less time. I am also going to do my exercise class on Monday and Fridays so that is good exercise and toning with that. I stopped going bec ause of my emotions. Last time I was there, I got so frustrated and mad at the teacher because I could not do anything right. Hormones! But now, ready to roll. I am also going to start doing squats and leg lifts in the morning, lunch and night. I will start slow but then add up. Li Laoshi said that if I get up to 54 each time, three times a day, my thighs will go down a whole lot. So, I will start working on that. I feel good guys. This is doable. Not to rough. And I will keep on my plan.

I have learned that I am most surely NOT ready for living lean. Just to see how I have eaten in the last few weeks, terrible. I am not even going into all the junk I have shovelled, literally, in my mouth. I went to a christmas party Sat. and when I sat down with my plate and then looked at another woman’s plate, the difference was terribly apparent. Mine was loaded with bad choices and well, just loaded. Hers was light, good choices and portion control. Have I not learned anything? Well, this shows me that I can just let loose and fancy free. When I get to goal, and I will get there! , I will have to be in strict control at allt ime. I think every choice I do and everyting I do will have to be thoguht out carefully and preplanned. That is the only way. My cruizing control is out of wack and can’t be trusted so I have to deal with things on manual. But at this time, I am not going to deal with that. I am dealing with today. I gained a lot and I hate to see that gain on my ticker but that will have to be done. I had to be honest. But today starts a new day, a new wagon. Today, I am going to have that sticker on my calender. !