Would you leave the kids for a month? Advice!
I am not sure what to do. My kids are my life and I love them very much but I am not sure what to decide. I have been having homesickness lately and really wanting to go back to the States for a visit. I always take my kids with me and as a result, the cost is astronmical! But my husband was trying to comfort me last night and told me that if I really wanted, I could go back this spring festival (Jan, I get a month off from work) and go without the kids. Without the kids going, we can swing the money for me to go but do not have the money for them all to go. I really am not sure what to do. Both has postives and negatives. Ok, first , positives, I get to enjoy a vacation by myself, I don’t have to watch the kids all the time, I can actually watch a movie on the airplane or sleep or anything I want, I can spend time with my mother, go to the bookstore to read and all the other things I havent’ been able to do for years. Bad points: The biggest, I don’t want to leave my kids. They are safe here and will be taken good care of but I just don’t know about leaving my 13 month old. Will she forget me after a month? The kids will feel bad that I am going and they are not. I can save that money for going with everyone in 2010 (that is the next family trip to the US) So, I guess the biggest thing is leaving my kids. I really want to go though. To just relax in the airport and not have to worry about so much would be great! To just be able to leisurely do things would be great. To buy the spices I need would be great. I am not sure what to do. Should I wait till 2010 or go in a few months? What do you guys think?? PLus, my family haven’t seen me since I have lost weight so that would be cool to knock them on their butts and buy at least one outfit from the normal size clothes! PLus, don’t forget victoria’s secrets! I really don’t know what to do.
On the great side, I am seeing my confidence soar. I actually went and got my hair done today. Haven’t done that in years and years! I got them to put some red in it. Kinda think like the hair color Nicole Kidman does sometimes with red and a little blonde. Looks nice, they did a good job. Once I hit 139, I will get my DH to get a pic of me and youi can see my hair. I am pleased with it. I feel I am changing so much so feel great. It was so strange though> I caught a glimpse of myself int he mirror while they were doing my hair and I did not recognize myself for a sec or two. I was thin and it wasn’t me! I look normal and slender, I thought I would never be able to say that but I can. If I do go to the US, I will have to be really cautious on what I eat but it is a great time to live at goal! It feels really good! Really!! Took the kids out to eat last night and they ordered the milk tea, french fries, onion soup, chicken leg with rice and it all smelled so good! I had my own veggies to eat but he french fries were calling me! So, I did what I said I was going to be doing. Ok, when living at goal, should I eat this? Hmm, not really. All potato and then deep fried in oil and then dipped in sugar sweetened ketchep. Ok, so, if this is not healthy, how to make it healthy and honestly, I could not think of a way to make it healthy for myself. Just the transfat is a killer. Better to wait till I get home and make oven baked friench fries that are healthy for me. The chicken with rice would be alright to eat. The milk tea, well, my coffee triumphed over that with no problem. After I did all that internal thinking, I felt good. It wasn’t so much I was telling myself that I can’t have it, it isn’t forbidden to me or any of that but just thinking about it in health terms, there are so much better things to eat then that and taste better too! Maybe in time, I will have a small fries one day just for that time but honestly, I think it is better for my body not too. I was also thinking about , what about noodles. Love them but outside , they are so soaked in oil here. So, my mind starts to think about this and you iknow what, My fil makes good noodles with little oil. That works. So, you can see, I can see my mind set going and getting better. I was also realizing that by tomorrow’s weigh in or at least in a few days, I am going to have only 20 something more pounds to lose to get to goal. I can’t beleive it! But that is still a lot and things will slow down as I get closer. I use to be so worried about when I would reach this stage but I see that by working my mentality, I am managing to do alright with it and not binge or anything. I think that is why I am doing this thinking of healthy and normal eating because I don’t want to fall into the binge trap. If I really want something, do it the best and healthiest way and it will not kick me in the butt. Then go right back to pop. Workable plan.
Well, rambled enough. Have a great day and will have a new photo up next week
XML Feed
Ohhhh! That sounds wonderful! But if it came down to it I do not know what I would do. Maybe a week or two but not a month.
Hmm…I really don’t know what to tell you. I myself couldn’t go. It would drive me mad to be away from the kids for a whole month. I just couldn’t do it. Maybe two weeks at the most, but never a whole month. My husband has to do it all the time, for instance he’s been gone since January 28th and won’t be home until February 09′ some time. Thirteen months…I don’t know how he does it!
I wish you the best in whatever decision you make.
I leave mine once a year (out of the country) for around 9 days. and I’ve left them (but been in the same country) 2 weeks.
imo, I think you should go, somewhere over a week, but less than 2.
Can you skype back and forth… I could see stretching it closer to 3 weeks if they could see and hear you.
I THINK YOU SHOULD GO! And I think you made u your mind to do so — right?
You are a great mom, you do everything for everyone, and you deserve this. Your husband and children will SO appreciate you when you get back! It won’t hurt any of them a bit. If your husband takes over some of the day-to-day stuff, he may get to know his children in a new way. They may actually get closer to each other. They may actually become a little more self-sufficient. And that’s all good!
I think “being selfish” is something all women fear being accused of; but doesn’t it REALLY mean taking care of ourselves? And aren’t we better for those we love when we take care of ourselves??
I am so inspired and filled with awe at your weight loss, week after week after week. No excuses, no derailments, just a steady march to goal. You have truly changed your life and you completely deserve this.
I would DEFINITELY go by myself; if your husband has agreed to it, and you have support from the in laws, then…why not?
Good luck…I’m excited for you!!
Hmm that’s a tough one.. But honestly i think i would go. It will be very hard but i think you will be glad you did it. It will give you a little break and be able to do so many things without feeling tied down with your Mommy responsibilities.
I just can’t believe how much you have lost! It is incredible and you look great! You should be very proud of yourself! I hope to join you someday at 139!
Hmm that’s a tough one.. But honestly i think i would go. It will be very hard but i think you will be glad you did it. It will give you a little break and be able to do so many things without feeling tied down with your Mommy responsibilities.
I just can’t believe how much you have lost! It is incredible and you look great! You should be very proud of yourself! I hope to join you someday at 139!
