From Cocoon to butterfly

I never thought of it this way. When I started to lose weight, I did not think of it as that much. It was liken to a stick of butter and then to a tub of margarine in the fact of how much I lost. Then I could look at the sugar and hold them up. I can remember going to WW as a teenager and after weighing in and meetings, my father would take me to the grocery store and have me hold as many bags of sugar as I had lost and it always amazed me. Then, some months ago I was carrying a bag of cat litter up the stairs and realized I had lost as much as that cat litter weighed. But today, wow, it struck me that I have moved beyond those things and I have lost as much as a normal person! Do you relize what that means? Do you really?n It means I use to weigh more then an avearge of TWO people. I was carrying around on my bones, more then two people. Two people and a child. I jsut can’t belevie that. I don’t know about you guys but I always deceived myself about how fat I was. I know I was fat but to realize I had that much on me, wow, I just never realized it in those terms. I have lost more now then I will weigh once I reach goal. It just was an amazing discover for me or as someone says, a lightbulb moment.

My weight loss is still going well. I am getting more and more in control of myself and things. I am slowly working out a plan in my head and heart of how I will stay here because I have to stay and not let that other person get back on me again! LIke the monkey on your back but I had a gorilla on mine. As I continue down, I am slowly watching myself and learning what are my triggers and what to watch out for the rest of my life. Chocolate, no problem really but I think bread and pastries will alwasy be a downfall to me and soemthing I really will have to avoid. When I go tot he store, I watch myself to see what strikes me the most and those are the things I will have to avod or be very very careful about. I have already determined I will be weighing in every day once i reach goal. Tina did an experiment, not planned but it worked out. She was attacked by the snack monster and lost but after she did that, she got right back with the program and was very strict with herself and guess what, it came off in just a few days. So, I know that works. I am still working out how to do portion control and the best I can figure is if I do get something, make sure it is the tinest package and if not, give away what I don’t eat. Or just throw it away. I am just babbling here, just trying to work out some things so forgive me for my ramblings. As I get closer to my goal, I think about these things. I have 34 more pounds to go. Still a ways but I am going to do it! I am hoping to hit the 130’s by two weeks. I can’t wait.

So, what motivates me now?

There is less and less of a bump from hip to thigh

I can see my bonework coming out  and being prominent , not the fat

sex

Crossing my legs

being able to buy clothes. I was in the dept store the other day (about dropped dead from the prices) and one lady came up to me when I was looking at a skirt and asked if I wanted to try it on. I have NEVER been asked that in 10 years I have been here. Usually they run scared if they see me and my fat butt! That is motivation

Having a pic made of me and liking it

my stomach goes in when I lay down

I can wear heels now! Knee high boots are next objective!

feeling of control

water barely rising when I get in the tub

liking what I see in the mirror (when clothed) while naked is another story!