From Cocoon to butterfly

Comfort Foods”

“We often call it comfort food,but for millions of Americans, it is not comforting at all. Many people fail to make the connection,how and what we eat has a direct affect on our moods.  Not only is our consumption affecting us from moment to moment throughout the day, but bad eating habits can contribute to long-term mood troublesof all kinds, including depression.”

–From Bottom Line’s “Daily Health News”

This reminds me of what I was thinking last night. We went to the Metro (a german based supermarket ) and I was looking over the junk food section. My husband was asking why I did that an I told him that when I look at it, it gives me a feeling like coming home. Comfort is another word for it I suppose. I asked myself, why is that when I look at veggies or fruits, that feeling doesn’t come but when I look at junk food, why do they taste so darn good and always make you feel good,… momentarily. Now, that is a good question. Ahh, when I am eating something right then, it tastes and feels great but a few minutes later, I regret doing it. I revel in that feeling of the moment much like a drug addict likes the high he gets before he crashes and you know what, that is exactly what junk food has become to us. Our drug of choice. We shovel it in when we need that high but afterwards, we crash and sometimes we crash hard. I have to admit, I am a drug addict when it comes to food because here is no control for me. Although I am full , I stil have to continue till whatever I am eating is gone. And then, I crash hard with the sugar overload and overfull stomach. But, we keep coming back and doing it over and over. That was a big reason I hated myself because I could not stop and it wasn’t just to comfort, it was all the time! It lead me to a spirel of depression to be renewed day after day. I don’t know about the chemical affect but the phycological affect is devastating. Just like a drug addict. My ex finacee was a drug addict. His progress was this. He started with something small but harmless. In time, he wanted more. He looked for something a little bigger. Then the drive became uncontrollable and it would force him to keep looking for bigger and bigger highs. He hated himself for doing it, but it was uncontrollable. He lost everything including me but that drive overcame him every time, he had no control over it. He snuck around and did not like anyone to know. We are like that. WE start with somethng small at first A piece of this or that and we are please with our self control. We can handle this and that feeling did feel good, kinda like that first kiss on a date. Ok, we can handle something small and it does’t feel as good but if I can handle that, I can handle something bigger and so, we fool ourselves into believe we can handle it. Thngs daily snowball till we are binging and out of control but trying to hide it but our figure we can’t hide. WE sink into deprssion over what we have done yet we can’t control it when it happens again. The only way we can get out of it is with help just as a drug addict. This is wehre this plan and forum comes in. We can’t do it by ourselves, we need help and we need to openly confess, Hello, I’m Rachel and I’m a food/sugar/ick addit!  I know I can’t go back and have “just one piece” Just one taste or anything like that. I remmber making a christmas dinner for a group of students with all the trimmings and ick. (cost me a bundle!) and I invited a teacher from the US to join us. He and I spentso much time arguing that I should indulge and eat some. Someone who has never been an addict doesn’t understand. But here, on the forums, everyone dos understand. Ok, not to be offensive but going to say this. Over here, most everyone is pretty healthy. There are a few overweight but really not that many. Whne I go back to visiit in the US, I am shocked! Literally shocked at how many overweight people there are in the US and all the junk we eat and all the bad food we eat or good food drowing in bad stuff we eat. If you live in he US, this doesn’t really stike you as much but we are an overweight nation for sure. You can go out anytime to buy big clothes, the chairs are made bigger, the portions are bigger, there are drive throughs to make it quicker and easier to get that fix, shoot, even the hospitals are expanding for the overweight people. It is easy to become complacent or at least to listen to that voice that says, I don’t care. When I first go to the US, I am shocked about it but after a week, two weeks , three weeks, it becomes easier to “forget” how big I am. To buy that huge thing of ick and eat it, to eat ick after meals every time. So, I am glad to have this plan to help me get on track, to gain control and to fight the uge of an addict. Notice, I did not say, stop being an addict, that will never happen but I can control myself.