From Cocoon to butterfly

“Motivation doesn’t last–neither does bathing!  THAT’S why we recommend it DAILY!”– Zig Ziglar Motivation, one of the most elusive things to find and hold and also the most powerful force besides faith. So many questions are connected with it, how to find it? How to keep it? How not to lose it? Why is tis word so powerful to us especialy us in the journey of weight loss? First , how to find it? I really have no idea how to find something. For me, finding motivation is a study, a building of layors one upon the other. IT can’t just wake up one day and have it. I actually do a lot of thinking about what I want to do and why? I give myself so many reasons why I want to do it and why I should feel like it. I look for ever oppurtunity to build another layor upon that. Because, I need something solid to work with. Motivation is much like faith, you can’t have it based upon just feelings. Feelings change day to day. Humans go through a cycle, especially women and nobody can keep good feelings all their life or even the day. To me, motivation is a decision, personal, powerful and must be decisive. Once I reach the time where there is enough evidence and something just clicks for me and when it happens, I reach out and take it right then. To wait a day is to lose it like sand through my fingers. I grab it and don’t let it go. God said it is tenancity, being like a bulldog that when you want soemthing, you take a bite and don’t let go. Let a bulldog bite something., does he let go ? No , even when you beat him, he will still not let go. Nothing you can do until he is himself ready to let go. That is motivation, you make the decision to lose weight and you have to take a bite and no matter what happens or how beaten you feel or what aroma of ick comes to you, you willnot let go. You must make your own decision to do it, if you try to have it for someone else, you will fail everytime! How to keep motivation? With tenancity, letting nothing take it from you, no matter what.

       So, what motivates me now. I actually journal about this every month or so. When we first start to lose weight, what is our motivation? Our health, to get into the single digit size, to feel “normal” and so on. When we first start, what motivates us are the huge goals, the huge hopes. But I can’t hold unto those all the time. They don’t keep me motivated because it seems to be so distant. Rather like a child that says, when I grow up I want to be a doctor. The desire is there but the hope is far far away. So, I think about now, what motivates me at this certain time and honestly, they are tied very closely with my goals. What motivates me now? Being so close to being less weigh then my husband’s partner. My waist being smaller then my husband’s. Having people say that they see I have lost weight. Having my kids look at me and say , you have lost a lot of weight. Having my husband hold me closer. And , dare I say it, sex, my, much better! TMI  LOL. Every so many months, my motivation changes but it should. Motivation is not a dead stagnent thing. But living and changing. When I first started, my motivation was to fit in the bathroom, to not have a chair break on me and so on.

       What motivated me more in the past? Hmm, I really don’t know of an answer to this one. I try not to get tied in the past too much. Draw on your past don’t let your past draw on you.

       What will motivate me more in the future? I think my motivation will stay the same but it changes in what keeps me motivated. As I see myself getting smaller, I feel better about myself. I can walk down the street without people talking about me? Seeing my goal come closer and closer as a mountain climber seems the top of the mount slowly getting closer. That will continue to motivate me. As I see the top coming closer and closer, I feel mor and more excitement but reaching the top doesn’t finish the climb. One must learn to live there.