From Cocoon to butterfly

Well, I think the best bd presengt I could have given myself is my weight loss. I dont care about gifts but I love the weight loss. I was trying to convince my husband to take me out for a massage (hoping) and he asked why I did not want to stay home and eat. I said, well, they make a feast of all great food and have a cake in honor of me but I can’t touch any of that so am I honorede. But we will still be having a feast just for the kids. They told me today that they needed to call nainai and tell her that she could still buy the cake and just give it to them to eat so I will not eat it. I had to just laugh about that. They are very much aware of me dieting and trying to lose wieght. Even today, my daughter was telling me that I was thinner. Very nice but then she followed it with “that was nice, wasn’t it? You should tell me thank you now” I just laughed. But I do feel so much better with the weight loss and can’t wait to get to my half way mark. My husband was telling me that I have alreayd hit my 1/2 way mark for 120 but I told him I wanted to base all calculations on 110 even if I don’t go that low. It is like, if I do base it on 110 and then I decide 120 is good, then I will feel like I reached goal early and it is like  a xmas gift given early. But if I base it on 120 and reach it but still need to lose to 110 I will feel like things are dragging on and on. LIke, you decide not to read up on the work for the next day in class and the teacher decides to give a pop quiz. Nuts, you di8d not plan ahead but let’s say you do read it and when that pop test comes, you breeze though it. That is the feeling> He just thinks I am crazy but hey, it workis for me you know?

Still working out the visa thing> I hate dealing with all the red tape and there always seems to be some new policy that makes life even harder to work with but such is life. Even in the US, things got hairy with red tape. It is world wide.  Talking about hairy, still haven’t been paid for my last month at the college so the final grades are still being held hostage. I get so sick of fighting with that school and this makes me feel even better about leaving. They had asked me to help find another teacher fo rthem but I don’t think so! They do this to me, they will do worse to another and I don’t want to be  blamed for that, you know.

Cravings have finally died down. I notice it gets worse when I am home alone. Just want to sneak and eat but I can’t do that. Not only am I letting myself down but eveyrone else to so I will continue to blog and continue to lose. I will be going for a visit to the US in two years and going in the summer so I really would like to look nice when I get there. My family has never seen me at goal so cna you imagine. hehehe . I am sneaky and think that will be a great opp. when I get off that plane at 110 to 120 . They are going to be in shock and so will my wallet after I go shopping!! But you know what I really look forward to? Sitting in the plane seat. For us who are overweight, you know how it is?? You sit down and suck in that stomach and jus tpray that the seatbelt is going to fasten and then you have it digging in your ribs while sitting. PLus, I had to raise the seat arms so my fat had enough place to go. Grrr! I hate that so this time, I want it to be different. I wan tto be able to sit in the bulkhead seats and use the tray without it being balanced on my stomach. To manuver out of the seats and into the aisle without bumping into anyone with my fat. Come on guys, do I hear an amen!! I know these might seem small to some but these are real goals and real meaning to me.

Ok, well, I need to get ready to get a bath and head to bed. Kiddos were up really early today. YOu know how it is. Before vacation, they can’t drag their butts out of bed for school but the day they are out, they can get up bright and early without any help.

So, happy birthday to me happy bd to me happy bd dear Rachel, happy bd to me!! And many more…………………….. Can’t wait till christmas becuase I am hoping for a goal present !