From Cocoon to butterfly

I have been meaning to get on here and post for some time but everytime, something happened. Computer went crazy or it just took too long to get the page loaded. But, I am finally on here. Today is my last day with teaching at one part time job. I am looking forward to the break. The weight journey has been going very well. i say journey because in using the word “diet” it connots a beginning and an ending. With me, this is a journey, one that will never end till I die. When I start that feeling of “it’s not fair” I have to remember that things have to be like this from now on. And if that voice persists, I then start to look at other people and how they eat, you know they ones, the ones that seem to be blessed with thinness. But you know someting, they don’t get to enjoy themselves like I would have thought they would have. Fact is, when they do eat something particularly yummy, they have a built in portion  control. They can have one thing of ice cream and stop but me, my thoughts about enjoy are eating until I make myself sick.

But I have to admit, since Christmas arrived here (see earlier post) I have been seeing more and more changes in my body. There have already been changes since losing 60 pounds but now since getting there, mybody is changing more and more. I choose not to look at the whole and see how much further I have to go. I choose to look at what it was and what it is now. Wow, what a difference and I am feeling more and more excitement over what has happened and what will happen. I belong ont he contest of longest losers. We are down to just two of us now that consistantly lose every week. Jo asked us to tell us 3what was our secret and that got me thinking, what was the secret, although there really is no secret but what makes a person be able to lose and not yo yo all the time. So, I have to think about what do I do? 1. I never give up hope. I am always thinking about what is good and what has changed already. Loss is slow, you can’t snap your fingers and be thin right away so it takes time and sometimes that time can drag as any pregnant woman can tell you. I I keep the hope and try to visualize myself at such and such of a weight. When I see a pretty dress, I don’t think, I am too fat…. I think “one day” One day is my hope!!

2. I don’t cheat or go off not even for one day. I am a type of person that is an all or nothing type. Yes, I know that is not good but that is who I am and I can’t change it. Once I get near to goal, I do plan to up some portions of things but I don’t plan to add extra ick to my food. Better to keep away from it. Pounds are too much like rabbits, get one and next thing you kow, you have too many of them underfoot and they keep breeding! I know some who can eat off one meal and go back the next but I cant’ and I acknowledge that weakness.

3. I eat more veggies at every meal then anything else. I also eat a carb and a lean protein with it but veggies are the secret. They have very little calories and they make you feel full.

4. I eat every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. yep. That keep sme from feeling hungry all the time. My worst time is afternoon. I think the habit came from school. You know, you don’t eat anything but lunch so by the time you get home, you raid the fridge. Well, growing into adulthood never changed that habit. But now, by 230pm, I eat 1/2 a grapefruit and proteina nd I am happy and full till supper time. Morning time same thing.

5. I leave food on my plate. I am also from a family of , gotta clean off the plate, so it is hard to do but I am getting myself in the habit that I realy dont’ have to eat till the plate is empty. Just till I am full.

6. I am learning to ask myself, What is my hunger gadge? There are times in the morning, I pass by a street stall selling things and my mouth gets to drooling and I ask myself, am I really hungry. It helps turn these feelings inward and find out about just what I really do feel.

7. I drink plenty of water. While i am teaching, I am always drinking so I get all my water in before the afternoon.

8. I have two places on the internet that I post on boards and chat with others about weight loss and life. The help of these ladies and men have helped me where I really needed it.

9. When I get really upset, depressed or what, I blog. Writing things out really does help me to deal with things instead of turning to food all the time. I am reteaching myself to not turn to food for comfort but to turn to writing. In turn, I also learn so much about myself and I love to write.

10. I take walks for my exercise. I don’t beleive I Have to kill myself in exercise and I personally, hate hate running. But walking , that I can do.