From Cocoon to butterfly

Right now, it is Christmas in my heart. Remember when we were children and it was the night before christmas. YOu are all aglow in the thoughts of what hte next day would bring when you opened your eyes. You watch your stocking hung up and count the presents under the tree. The thrill of anticipation in the air was tangible! Butyou had to sleep to have the next day come. So hard to sleep knowing what was going to happen the next morning. That is the feelings I have now.  Onderland is on the horizon. The moment when you stop seeing the two on the scale and start to see the one. The moment when you stop feeling a decade away from your goal and now closer. The moment you feel almost like a normal person to see a one there instead of a two, three or what. This is the moment I am waiting for. If I don’t get it tomorrow, the next day then. So close so close. Will fireworks go off? No  Will there be a ticker parade…. no  Will I feel different just by what the scale says….no. This is all mental for me. When I see that one, that means I still have about 80 more pounds to go but it means I am getting ever closer to my goal. I no longer see 147 pounds that need to be lost. Now, I have less then 100 to lose on top of what I have already lost. This makes my hope even more and more visible to me. And to think, that means next week I shall see the 89’s (190s) When I was 3 months pregnant, I weighed around that. To get below that means I will hit my next goal and then my next goal and then onward and downward. Ooo, it is christmas in my heart!! To get in the lower 80s (170s pounds) is where the big changes really start to happen in my body. By the 70s (150s) I start to look like a normal person. By 60’s I am getting thin and by the 50’s I am finally getting to goal and lower then I was in middle school. Christmas come on.  Which is in fact the time I am hoping to hit my goal weight, christmas!! Can you imagine a better christmas present???