From Cocoon to butterfly

Been a tiring day. NOt just for the kids but also because of having to teach. I did not do so well int eaching them last summer. I know a lot of it is tired up in the fighting that was happening but I am trying to make things much better and interesting for them.

The biggest reason I am glad this day is almost over is it has been really hard today on thinking about ick. Yes, I did face that monster down but having that bing in the kitchen really got to me. I did not think of it really that much but when I was up and making breakfst, it just looked so good. But I knew, it can’t do that to myself nor to others. Yes, ohers are important also. Since getting back on the forums I have been with, they are starting to get motivated and such and I don’t want to let myself down nor them. Plus, yes, it would taste good for a little while and then I would want another and then another. Then I would feel so bad for what I was doing that I would then binge on whatever else I could find. Thus, yes I got the victory but it was a narrow miss. I can’t do that again and I know it. So,I will only buy enough for them to eat right then and then there will be no more. I should not buy really much from the bakery anyways because it is bad for everyone but I like to give them treats every now and then. I don’t want them getting too use to it though. When I was young, almost after every meal, we would have dessert. Then as I got older, well, I got use to having something after every meal and it is a habit now. I am allowed a fruit snack after supper but I forgo it becuase I know I need to break the habit and keep it broke, even from the good stuff. If I am just going out of my mind, yeah, then I would eat some fruit but other then that, I would rather not. I am already feeling better just in writing on this blog. I also bought a whole lot of junk food for one class and while explaining and showing it to the studetns, ahhhh, it looked really good, well,except for the chicken feet, but I knew I would not and did not want to. Just not worth it

An observation my husband came up with that I did not even think of, I have lost my weight in baby. Rebeccah is about 7 kg and I have lost over 7 kg. Amazing in that you have a visual for how much you lost and how much you were carrying around.